Milk

I'll give this one a 2/5. This movie depicts the true story of Harvey Milk (starring Sean Penn), the first openly gay man elected to public office. It's a great story and worth a watch, it just really drags.

The first hour of the movie is just showing how many times Harvey ran and lost. Milk is very charming and likeable, along with his supporters, and partner (played by James Franco).

The second hour of the movie is him coming into office, and trying to stop a bill that will fire all gay teachers and supporters of gay teachers in California.

The movie ends with showing how many people show up for a marching vigil in Milk's honor after he is assassinated by his fellow supervisor (played by Josh Brolin). Over 30,000 people showed up and it showed real footage of the event, which was very moving and sad.

House of 1000 Corpses

This awful piece of crap gets a 0/5. Any movie that can suck even while starring the hilarious guys, Rainn Wilson and Chris Hardwicke, blows. This movie is about a group of people who are on a road trip and make a pit stop at a horror museum. They hear about the local legend, Dr. Satan, and want to go investigate. On the way, they pick up a blonde hitchhiker, and their car breaks down. She takes them to her house and the crazies there kill them.

Rainn Wilson is a hilarious guy, but he doesn't manage to make one joke throughout the entire movie. That's wasted talent right there. The people who play the crazies are way overdone and obnoxiously hard to watch.

The whole movie feels like a bad acid trip. It goes from being about this killer family, to zombie-like creatures, to an evil underground robotic doctor with a weird assistant who has an anus for a face and is dressed for a nuclear attack.

I knew going into this that Rob Zombie was weird, but ughhh, don't waste your time with this movie.

The Vanishing (1993)

I give this one a 3.5/5. In this movie, Kiefer Sutherland's girlfriend, Sandra Bullock, disappears at a truck stop. He searches for her for 3 years, meanwhile beginning a difficult romance with Nancy Travis. After 3 years, Nancy forces Kiefer to give up the search because he is obsessed and it is straining their relationship. Right after this, Sandra Bullock's kidnapper (Jeff Bridges) comes to Kiefer and tells him that he will tell him everything but to find out what happened to Sandra, Kiefer must go through everything she went through.

Nancy Travis's character was not too likeable for the first half of the movie. She seemed kind of insane to me, to be honest. She starts a relationship with a guy who is clearly obsessed with his missing girlfriend. Then, months later, she begins to flip out like a crazy person because he's obsessed with his missing girlfriend. But in the end, she ends up being very smart and badass while trying to save Kiefer.

I only have two real complaints. First, there is an awful scene with spiders in the beginning that has scarred me for life. And second, after waiting over an hour to find out what happened to Sandra, the truth is a bit anti-climatic. Not to say that what happened wasn't terrible or anything, it just wasn't as exciting as it had been built up to be.

Seven Pounds

I'd give this one a 2/5. Will Smith is a suicidal man whose wife has just died. He decides that he is going to find people who are worthy of receiving his organs when he kills himself. In the process he falls in love with the woman he is giving his heart. And in order for her to live, he has to die. Anyway, heartache ensues. For being such a depressing storyline, this movie was not very tear-jerking at all. I didn't tear up once, which is saying a lot because I'm a crybaby. (I teared up during Adam Sandler's "Click" for crying out loud, haha).

The acting was well done and it is an interesting storyline. It was a dull movie, however. It dragged and was a little over 2 hours long.

SPOILER AHEAD.
I do have to say that the way he committed suicide was very original and neat. I had never seen or heard of anyone using a jellyfish to kill themselves, but kudos to whoever wrote that!

Last House on the Left (2009)

Well, let me start off with: I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I give it a 543879/5. The violence is fantastic but not overdone. The story is about a teenage girl (Mari) who is on vacation with her parents. She goes out with a friend and a group of criminals kidnap them. They rape and attempt to kill Mari. Once they think she is dead, they seek shelter in the nearest house, which just happens to be Mari's family's home. Turns out Mari is not dead, and her parents seek revenge on the gang of criminals.

First of all, the killers are great. Aaron Paul is the sexiest he's ever been (YUM!) and I just love Riki Lindhome (see her comedy band "Garfunkel and Oates"). The killer dad (Garret Dillahunt) was very intimidating, tough, and scary. And you really feel bad for the son.

It is very nice to see the parents fight back to avenge their daughter. You really want them to just slaughter them and well... they do. Monica Potter is generally not the toughest girl, but she kicks some ass and so does the dad. They don't just luck into killing the bad guys like a lot of horror movies. They really want to hurt these guys and they make it happen.

Anyway, WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!

SPOILERS AHEAD
The killing scenes are fantastic. I obviously love any violent scenes involving the garbage disposal. The microwave scene at the end is pretty amazing. It's the only semi-unrealistic scene in the movie (in my opinion) but its still dang good!

Bring it On

Gets a 3/5. I'm sure everyone knows that this movie is about a cheer competition. I used to LOVE this one in elementary school. I knew all the cheers and did them on the playground. It was still decent when I just re-watched it as a 19 year old. However, I did not find myself wanting to be any of the cheerleaders this time around. The acting was very corny in patches and so was the writing, such as "cheerocracy", "cheertator", etc. There were also at least 20 "she puts the whore in horrible" type jokes. Jesse Bradford is just as charming as I remember and it still is a cute story.

Soul Survivors

I give this terrible disaster of a movie a 0/5. This movie was about a girl who got into a car crash with her friends and boyfriend and then has some hallucinations. I have no idea what happened in this movie. It all ended up being some sort of alternate reality, but there were also some lesbian scenes that I don't understand how they fit into the story, other than to just put a weird 80s chick (looked like she belonged in the Cure) making out with Eliza Dushku. The beginning scene where the masked men drain the woman's blood never comes back into the story. When you know the ending, it still doesn't make sense. There was also a priest in her hallucinations that was a real guy but who has been dead since the 80s. It was basically like they tried to fit 4 different supernatural storylines in and couldn't get any of them right. This movie sucks, so avoid it at all costs.

Fanboys

Again, I would give Fanboys a 4/5. I've watched a lot of good movies lately, I'm not just an easy critic. I'm a big Star Wars fan and Chris Marquette is just dang adorable, so I knew going into this one that I had a bias. I could not believe how many guest stars were in this one! Seth Rogen played 3 different characters, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, William Shatner, Danny Trejo, Ethan Suplee, Billy Dee Williams, Carrie Fisher, Jamie King, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, and MORE. For going to a limited release, there were way more people than I thought there would be. The story was very cute, a group of friends travel to Skywalker Ranch to try to steal Episode I before its release. My only complaint is that Chris Marquette is terminally ill in the movie (I'm not ruining much of anything, you find this out pretty early on). It adds an unnecessary bit of sadness to a movie that is so funny and corny. Oh, and I guess I was also a little disappointed that George Lucas did not appear. Anyway, if you like Star Wars and/or goofy comedies, give this one a try!

Star Trek (2009)

The new Star Trek gets a 4/5. Keep in mind that this is not coming from a Trekker. Before I saw it, I thought the casting choices were all pretty strange. Everyone did great though! I've always been attracted to Zachary Quinto, so it was a little bit weird to find Spock sexy, but I dealt with it. My only complaint about the movie was that it didn't feel long enough. I felt like it was only the introduction to the movie and then it ended, but there will be sequels and it was still really enjoyable. I was glad Nimoy was in it. He really added a whole new level of awesome.

The Changeling (2008)

I would give the Changeling a 4/5. I went into thinking it would be a good story but I would be bored out of my mind. Not only was it about the 1920s (old-timey movies are generally a bore) and not a whole lot happens (action-wise), but this movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes long. It was still very interesting! I was riveted through the whole thing wondering what would happen next. The story, acting, and direction were all great, and I would recommend this one to all.

SPOILERS AHEAD.
The Northcott hanging is actually quite upsetting to watch (and this is coming from someone who enjoys the most violent of deaths in horror movies). I actually felt quite bad for him.

The ending is a little bit upsetting because you don't find out what happened to Christine Collin's son, but I'm assuming that she never did either and that is much much worse. I can't blame the writers for not changing the real story. It wouldn't be right if they did.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I would give this one a 1/5. The beginning, when Benjamin is a child in an old man's body, is cute and leads you to believe that this movie has potential to be worthwhile. Once you are about 45 minutes in, it begins to drag and keeps dragging for the ensuing 2 hours. The previews/reviews talked about this movie like it was unbelievably romantic, however, throughout the movie both Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett fell in love with other people and were rather promiscuous. When Benjamin was a little old man, Cate Blanchett's character seemed to love him, but when he actually became Brad Pitt, she seemed uninterested and even told him to leave her alone several times. What is wrong with her?! Brad Pitt is not really my type, but he is a good looking man and you can't deny it! Overall, this movie was very very dull and wasted 2 hours and 45 minutes of my life (no matter what the Academy thinks).